MY STORY

On April 11, 2019, I lost my baby girl Riley to suicide.

My life was shattered. I spiraled into depression and lost any care for the future. There were many days when the thought of taking a shower, shaving, or doing basic hygiene was too exhausting, and I refused. I began slipping dangerously deeper into dark places emotionally and mentally and needed to do something.

I mustered up the energy to resume Jiu-Jitsu training. It started with just my Coach, James Foster, and a small group of my regular training partners during non-regular class hours, slowly mixing in open mats and then finally returning to regular classes. Though I was in enormous amounts of emotional pain and will always have a void in my heart Grappling/ Jiu-Jitsu was and continues to be a tremendous part in helping me deal with my depression and overall mental health. I still have good/bad days, but it helps give me a sense of direction and purpose.

I have to continuously monitor myself to properly manage and cope with my loss. Like many who have lost loved ones, I knew I would never get the answers to the questions that filled my head. I began researching suicide and mental health and decided I could do more. Not only did I want to bring more awareness and education regarding suicide, but also provide a platform to support those effected by suicide loss. This led to the idea of Grapple; 4 Life. Then, with some help (and pushing) from my wife Stephani, we made the vision come to light.

On May 28, 2022, we held our first Grapple; 4 Life seminar, which was a great success. The event brought together grapplers from various academies, other states, families, and a West Virginia politician. In addition, it raised funding for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) and got them a new board member, walk organizer, and volunteers. The Grapple; 4 Life seminar was the AFSP's first time seeing such an event, and the grappling community didn't disappoint!